By Julie van der Poel [1] Jan 21, 2013 3
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Social Life
Sometimes you just have to admit that a great idea isn’t all that great when it’s implemented. If you’ve read any of my previous columns [1], you’ve probably come to certain conclusions about my son, Cameron. I’m sure he would seem to be what most would label as “high functioning.” Cameron is very capable when it comes to independent living skills and he is fully embracing his own growing independence. From what I can gather, this somewhat sets him apart from his peers at his nonpublic special needs school. With the exception of a few foundation years, Cameron has always gone to a specialized school. As such, I’ve recently been yearning for him to have access to more mainstream settings when it comes to socialization. After all, in “real life” Cameron will be required to interact with the mainstream society, so it makes sense to me that he has social exposure to his mainstream peers now.
With this mainstream social integration in mind, I’ve begun a search for summer camps and extracurricular activities for Cameron. Every time I mention summer camp to a parent of a child with disabilities, I get a ton of recommendations for “special” camps. But that’s not what I’m after. I want Cameron to find out what it’s like to stand shoulder to shoulder with typical teenagers. I thought I had found the perfect solution for an extracurricular activity: my daughter’s school offers a fencing class for boys and girls in Grades 4-12. It’s a girls’ school, so I even had visions of Cameron flirting with an upper school opponent. Cameron attended the first lesson this week. The class consisted of Cameron, his sister, and two of his sister’s fourth grade classmates. Not exactly the peers I had in mind for Cameron. But he hung in for the entire lesson, and said he would go back if he weren’t the only adult in the class. (I checked, and there were four no-shows on the first day. All were female, and the oldest registered participant was a sophomore. Which would be great, if she shows up.)
The inquiry into summer camps didn’t go much better. I am not expecting Cameron to receive special treatment in his camping endeavors. I only want to ensure that the organizers would be sympathetic to Cameron’s … umm … let’s say “quirkiness.” I found a program that looked interesting and put a call in to the director. I was shocked by how quickly I was shut down and told they would not be willing to accept Cameron. The director told me (in a rather patronizing tone) that it would be nice if they could put together a group of disabled campers, but they weren’t prepared to do that. He missed my point entirely, and clearly had a preconceived notion of Cameron that was far from who he is. I felt the hairs on my neck start to prick up, and my pulse quickened as I was trying to have a conversation with this camp director. Words like “discrimination” came to mind, along with a few others that aren’t fit for print.
Both of these disappointing attempts at mainstream social integration happened on the same day. It would be easy to just throw in the towel and give up. But I’m not going to do that. I’m convinced that I can find appropriate activities for Cameron that he will enjoy and that others will enjoy his participation as well. Any ideas?
[3]About the Author - - Staff Writer
Julie van der Poel is the mother of a teenage son with ASD. When not writing for AA16, she focuses her energy on education issues for her two children.